Synopsis - Get a Job

A person goes through a series of unsuccessful job interviews. Eventually she seeks help from an online group. They discuss the strategies of interview at a sophisticated level.
Finally she goes into an interview equipped with electronic surveillance devices and instant access to online information and the full resources of her support group.

We discover that the interviewers too have a hidden agenda. They are in communication with support groups of their own. The watchers comment on howwell the interviewee is playing the game, murmur appreciatively at well executed moves, and suggest questions and answers to the interviewer.

The interviewer support group and interview support group deduce each other's existence from the sophistication of the interview. It becomes a battle between the two groups, with the interviewer and interviewee as champions.

At last the interviewer group devises a murderously difficult interview question. The tension builds as the interview support group mobilises to answer it. The Internet crashes under the weight of the interview question.
The power grid goes out. The interviewee is left alone, in the darkness. She answers the question brilliantly.

The lights come back on. The interviewer support group enters, jubilant, clapping the interviewee on the shoulder, dancing with glee. They offer the interviewee a job other than the one for which she was being interviewed.

She is to become a job interviewer.

What Interview is That?

There are different styles of interview.

• The Interrogation
• The Date
• The Sale
• The Transaction
• The Match
  

Your job is to figure out what style of interview you are in very quickly.

The Interrogation

The police interrogation style is conducted in an atmosphere of hostility. It
is designed to trip you up and get you to contradict yourself. They assume
you are lying to them. The interview is about deception.

This job interview is not a conversation. It is not a free exchange of views.
You do not want them to like you for yourself. You want to fool them into
thinking you are legit.
Do not reveal anything more than necessary. Anything you say may be taken
down and used in evidence against you. However it may harm your defence if
you do not volunteer information that you later rely on in court.

A question is designed as a probe to reveal something about you other than
what was asked. Work out what the real question is and answer that.

Never say "What? You think I killed her?"

The Date

The date style interview is conducted in an atmosphere of awkwardness and
anticipation. You both want this to be the one. You're both nervous. The
interview is about reassurance.

Whatever they say, you say, "Oh, I know."

Never say "Yes, you look fat in that."

The Sale

The sales style interview is conducted in an atmosphere of strained bonhomie and
mutual flattery. They want you, you want them, both sides believe they will
profit from the deal. Each side paints a picture of a world that satisfies
the aspirations the other is assumed to have. The interview is about
self-deception.

You talk about them. See, you look like the kind of company that recognises
quality when it sees it. I admire that kind of perceptiveness.

Never say "Do you want to buy it or not?"

The Transaction

The simple transaction is conducted in an atmosphere of profound pragmatism. The interview is about satisfying immediate needs.

You stand around in pink hot pants. The client winds down a window and says how much? You name a fair price. The client says hop in.

Never say "Sorry, I've got a headache."

The Match

The match is conducted in an atmosphere of competitiveness. There may well be testosterone involved.

They ask a question. You bat it back. They bat it straight back at you. Don't confuse this with banter. This game is not for the fun of it.

The main question is whether you should let them win. Usually the answer is yes, but after a decent fight.

Never say "I give up. You win."

Quiz

Identify the following interview styles:

• One of them is nice, and the other is nasty.
• "So... what's your sign?"
• They shine a light in your face.
• "We need someone dynamic, thrusting, passionate."
• They sit you on one side. They all line up on the other side.
  
• "Over to you."
  
• They ask you the same questions over and over again.
• "Oh, I love Jane Austen."
• "How much?"
• There's a big mirror on the wall and occasionally they look at it and shake their heads disgustedly.
  
• "Phew. You almost had me there."
  
• "That's an impressive CV. What do you look for in an employer?"
  

What Do You Love About Quality Assurance

2008-07-28

What do I love about what you just said?
I love to help those who are living in dread,
To show them the sunlight, to send them a sign,
To shine in the darkness the joy that is mine.

To take what is old and to render it fresh,
Designing a framework then giving it flesh,
To show in the light what obscurity hid,
To stand back in triumph and see what I did.

I love to see chaos untangle at last,
And slow and unsure become certain and fast,
To tease out the thread that is golden and true,
To know there is hope and to prove it anew.

I love recognition that lights up a face,
I love how the heart pounds before the big race,
I love solving puzzles, and knowing I'll win,
I'm crazy in love with the business I'm in.

Introduction

This blog is dedicated to those in quest of a job. To keep up the struggle, to maintain the basic dignity which is the right of all people everywhere, there must be a place of respite; a place to pause in contemplation, to share war stories, to gather strength for the time to come. This is that place.